I have always heard this song on the radio, yet never paid much attention to it. Recently, it had been playing constantly... and it was caught in my head and I listened to the words. I know this is only how I see the song because of a recent tragedy.
My boyfriend of five years recently passed away. He was the funniest, sweetest, greatest person in the world... but had a some issues and problems that with no matter how much help anyone gave him, he was unable to overcome. He became sick and an addiction got the best of him, turning him into a person that no one could recognize... after two years of trying to help him - I could no longer take the pain of watching him end his life slowly and lash out and blame everyone and everything around him. I knew this person was NOT him... and so tried to get him help and get him back... but even with everything I had in me... nothing was enough.
He died July 24th, 2010... and I was never able to say goodbye or tell him, one last time, how much I loved him. He died with his last memory of me leaving upset because he refused to get the help he needed. I was afraid he would just think I didn't care and abandoned him - while I actually spoke to friend and family, hoping he was doing better and our time apart would make him realize how much he lost and try to make a change... it didn't and I would sit and think of how bad he must have felt, thinking I didn't care. Was he mad? Did he hate me? Did I make everything worse? I feel so sad and so guilty all the time.
After he passed away this song kept popping up on the radio.. it's an old song, so that's rare... and now with this tune caught in my head I decided to download it and the words just seemed like it was for me... like somehow he wanted me to hear it... silly? maybe... but to me its absolutely perfect.
"Don't wish it awayDon't look at it like it's foreverBetween you and me I could honestly sayThat things can only get better"
We can change things so wishing won't help... but it's not forever. Before times were bad, we talked about everything, including what we thought would happen when we died and we both hoped and believed in some sort of heaven. I feel like he is there and letting me know that, just between us, there is something and it will be wonderful.
"And while I'm awayDust out the demons insideAnd it won't be long before you and me runTo the place in our hearts where we hide"
There were bad times... but it wasn't him and I have to remember to forget all those bad memories and remember the good ones we shared - that in my boyfriend, the person I was crazy about and loved so much.And soon enough, we can somehow be in a place together, not physically, I suppose - "our hearts" or maybe souls.
"Just stare into spacePicture my face in your handsLive for each second without hesitationAnd never forget I'm your man"
We loved to stare at the sky at night, at all the stars... so thus just seems perfect. And I have to go on and live and do the things we always talked about doing, but I will forever think of him and know he is somewhere waiting for me.
"Wait on me girlCry in the night if it helpsBut more than ever I simply love youMore than I love life itself"
I cry myself to sleep night after night... of course, nights are the worst. He didn't love himself or his life and couldn't see the wonderful things he had but I know, as he told me time after time he loved me more than anything... more than his life and he just gave up.
Okay... as I can't even see the keyboard to type any longer. I know this is MY sole interpretation of this song but I think that is what this web site is about... what a song means to someone personally. And this song will forever make me think you my baby... I love you ::chirp chirp::
